To the outside world, I had the perfect childhood. A pony to ride when I wanted to (even though he wasn't mine), holidays abroad every year, grammar school education, parents with their own business....the list goes on. I thought it was a normal way to live until, that is, I had my own children. I'm not looking for sympathy and I'm sure many of you have been through much, much worse. I'm not trying to belittle that, just put down in words what has been going around my head for years.
Smacks were a regular occurence in our house...smacks with hairbrushes, smacks with wooden spoons, smacks with shoes...whatever was to hand. I'm not saying I was the perfect child...far from it. I used to pinch money from my mum's purse and even stole spirits from the bar (we lived in a pub). I actually only stole the drink once...and got caught! Mum took me to the police station to teach me a lesson. I didn't do it again. My parents never sat us down to talk about things. You just did things, no questions asked or you got smacked! I remember taking money to buy myself some ice skates...I used to go skating at least once a week but she wouldn't buy me skates...not even for a birthday or Christmas. She DID buy me riding gear...stuff that I didn't need because at the time I wasn't going to shows. I never could get my head round being bought things I didn't want or need but thought that was the whole idea of Christmas...you just got what you were given regardless of what you 'asked Father Christmas for' and yes, I do know that makes me sound like an ungrateful brat.
